Here’s what every woman should know when she looks down and sees the two parallel lines on a positive result that she didn’t plan on:
You’re Not Alone
Nearly half (or 45%) of the 6.1 million pregnancies in the United States are unintended pregnancies. That’s over 2.8 million pregnancies that weren’t planned.
Of those unintended pregnancies, some are “mistimed,” meaning a woman wants to be pregnant eventually, just not right now. And some are unwanted pregnancies, meaning a woman never wanted or intended to be pregnant.
You’re definitely not alone. You’re not “stupid,” you’re not an “idiot,” and you’re not at fault. Things just happen.
Your Life Isn’t Over
When some women find out they’re unexpectedly pregnant, a few “acquaintances” and people who aren’t a regular part of their life may say that their “life is over”. They won’t be able to continue with their career. They wouldn’t be able to have the social life they had come to enjoy. They wouldn’t be able to do much of anything at all if it didn’t involve staying home and taking care of the baby.
What an outdated way of thinking. Plenty of women have children, work, spend time with friends, go outside of their homes and life fulfilled, well-rounded lives.
It’s Not A Mistake
An unplanned pregnancy isn’t a mistake nor does it have to be considered a mistake. Pregnancy happens. You can do everything “right” and take all the birth control that is available, and still get pregnant.
It happens when a man and woman engage in sexual activity. It’s not a mistake because it’s no one’s fault. You’re not to blame. Your partner or the person who contributed to this unplanned pregnancy isn’t to blame.
Because You Have Options
An unplanned pregnancy isn’t the end of the world or the end of your life or a mistake, because you have options for the birth of the child.
You may not be ready to raise a child.
Adoption is an option. There are many families waiting to love and raise the child you are carrying.
It’s Okay If You’re Not Excited
The initial reaction to your unplanned pregnancy has no bearing on the kind of mother you are going to be.
Many women are scared, confused, unsure and almost sad when they learned they were pregnant. Now? Now their child is happy, healthy and thriving. You won’t be a bad mother just because your first reaction to being pregnant isn’t “Yippee!” Big, life-changing moments deserve and often require a moment of pause, reflection, and even a dash of understandable fear.
It Can Be Shocking And Scary
Make no mistake, we’re talking about pregnancy, here. We’re talking about parenthood. We’re talking about a life-long commitment. That is a big deal.
It’s overwhelming and it’s okay if you’re shocked and scared. You’re under no obligation to pretend to be happy just because you’re a woman and just because you’re pregnant.
This is your life, and it will be your life that changes. You get to feel whatever it is you want and need and end up feeling.
BSideU For Life is here to offer you the emotional and spiritual support … and space … you may need to simply begin the process of accepting and adjusting to the news that you’re pregnant.
You’re Allowed To Be Excited, Even If You Didn’t Plan Your Pregnancy
Of course, at the same time, you don’t have to feel upset or scared if that’s not your initial reaction, either. If you’re super happy and excited, be super happy and excited! Because, whatever you feel is normal, valid, and worthy of being expressed.
This is your experience to live, and no one else gets to live it for you.
You Don’t Have To Explain How You Got Pregnant
You don’t have to go to into detail about failed birth control or condoms or diaphragms or IUDs or whatever else. It’s no one’s business. Everyone knows how babies are made. There’s no need to explain how you ended up pregnant.
Learn more about the various services we offer at BSideU for Life. Just give us a call or stop by.